Hatha - Day 16

Had a great regular class with my teacher today (I need to come up with a pseudonym I guess, since 'my teacher' applies to more than just her...)

I should first say that I discovered why I was feeling so terrible again yesterday, after having been on the upswing the day before - my body does not appreciate large amounts of vitamin c. I got some emergen-c, for the first time ever, thinking it would be a better alternative to something like gatorade because it had electrolytes and vitamins but not the sugar and fake stuff. While that logic is probably valid, I can't see how people use multiple packets of it in a single day. I was feeling very nasty with just one! Fortunately before I had any this morning I decided to use the google machine just to see if there was anything I should know about it. 1,000mg is a lot of C. Unsurprisingly, too much. Nevertheless, lesson learned!

It was wonderful to be doing yoga today and feel good. And also to be in the presence of so many great yogis who want to be in class, and have great energy, and to have such a great teacher. I realized that one of the greatest things about the teachers I have, and the classes I go to, and the yoga community I am a part of is the pure love that is shared. Every teacher loves teaching, every student loves the inquiry, and we all have a shared love of yoga. But it isn't just love as a passion for this common activity or path, it is love in a compassionate and human sense. It is interconnectedness and investment and respect. It is the balance of our humanity and our appreciation of our shared mortality, and also and intense positive recognition of what is possible.

The balance of light and dark, male and female, sun and moon. Hatha.

Freeze this Weekend

This has been (so far) the ideal weekend, if there is such a thing.

Yesterday, I spent ALL day with my teacher training classmates at our last session. We took our exam, then did our teaching portions. Besides the nerves that come with examinations, there were more laughs and smiles than any other session. It was amazing to see how we are all really blooming into fabulous teachers, with our own styles. We finished the day off in my (our) teacher's living room eating lots of food we all brought and talking and asking questions. Bittersweet, for sure, but I have a feeling that our group will remain pretty close.

Today, I had some awesome pancakes (recipe found here) with sliced almonds and fried bananas and maple syrup. Then I went to check out an apartment, and now I'm letting Amos Lee serenade me on itunes, and I'm eating leftover baked ziti from last night. It is rainy, and cool but not cold. Perfect for reflecting, and reveling.

2010 is going to be a really amazing and unique year. I knew that as soon as the calendar changed and I felt the energy of that crazy blue moon. But even my horoscopes say so. Apparently there will only be about 3 years this amazing in my entire lifetime. Even the most hectic days so far somehow feel smooth underneath, more stable on the foundation, and that background feeling of dread hasn't been there. Maybe it's the yoga, maybe it's me, and maybe it's the stars. I don't know. But I like it.

Amos tells me Sometimes we forget who we got, Who they are. Oh, who they are not.
There is so much more in love, Than black and white.

He's right.

The Ella Project

"Elle a" translates from french to "she has"
I used the name Ella, which means girl, or young girl, as a play on the french phrase.

I attempted to explain the idea behind this project in an earlier post, but I think Dostoyevsky expresses it best:

"We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken. "

here is a peek at the pieces, as promised:


1) Heart of the Matter
2) Downpour


3) Beaches/Birches
4) Canned Goods




it's an uneasy feeling to put my work up like this, even though I think the sharing is good for me, so even though they are watermarked I'm not entirely sure I'll leave them up for a long time. Enjoy them while they are here :)

She is coming!

I reached out to the Powers That Be and said "I am tired of being alone! I am meant to love and be loved!" They answered back and said "She is coming!" It was only a whisper, but I heard it nonetheless.

I found this on craigslist today. I won't say the city. I find that reading the missed connections is kind of like postsecret - if you've ever been sitting in a bar, and saw two people make eye contact, or have an exchange, you know that it is obvious that much goes unsaid. Missed Connections are an insight, retroactively i guess, into those moments. Those secret, special moments that most people either discard like a used tissue or cling to like the last evidence of existence. 

I think it's very special to have the strength to put something like this out into the universe. "I am tired of being alone! I am meant to love and be loved!"

The universe always answers, in its own way. It is the natural ebb and flow, action and reaction of nature. I will be more deliberate about what I put out into the universe, and perhaps I will be pleasantly surprised by what I get in return. To the mystery poster on craigslist, I hope that you and your love are immensely happy.

also, vulnerabilities, but not insecurities. 

I'm In Love With Ellen Page

So, I was super psyched about Ellen Page hosting SNL.
Ask anyone - I promoted that episode like I had written it myself.

When I tuned in, and saw Hillary Clinton in the opening, I thought "it doesn't get any better than this!"

I was wrong. It got better. WAY better.
Thank you Ellen Page, for being brilliant, unabashed, proud, intelligent, articulate, funny, and so many other things. Thank you for having conviction and being deliberate in the roles you choose and in your honesty. Thank you for being beautiful and still wearing converse and skinny jeans and flannel shirts.

Finally, thank you for this:

A Wall for the Body, a Circle for the Soul

"Right to the top I climbed, where I could watch the circling snow fill up the town till it blotted it out. All the black blotted out. I could have made a very impressive sermon...'My sins like a cloud hung over me, he blotted them out when he set me free...' that sort of thing. But where was God now, with heaven full of astronoughts, and the Lord overthrown? I miss God. I miss the company of someone utterly loyal. I still don't think of God as my betrayer. The servants of God, yes, but servants by their very nature betray. I miss God who was my friend. I don't even know if God exists, but I do know that if God is your emotional role model, very few human relationships will match up to it. I have an idea that one day it might be possible, I thought once it had become possible, and that glimpse has set me wandering, trying to find the balance between earth and sky. If the servants hadn't rushed in and parted us, I might have been disappointed, might have snatched off the white samite to find a bowl of soup. As it is, I can't settle, I want someone who is fierce and will love me until death and know that love is as strong as death, and be on my side for ever and ever."

~Jeanette Winterson, Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, book of Ruth