THIS is not okay.
Last Saturday night, two trans men were harassed in, and assaulted in front of, a popular club here in DC that I and many of my friends patronize. These men were subjected to ignorant, hurtful and violent behavior by members of our own community, in an establishment that should, more or less, serve as a safe and welcoming place for everyone. The spot is a well known hang out for all members of the lgbtq community here in the district, and their friends (there's certainly no queer card check at the door). Unfortunately it seems that a couple of members of our community fail to recognize that lgbtq includes a T.
While there are certainly differences of opinion in terms of whether or not transgender men and women should be grouped in with gays and lesbians as a societal demographic, we all fall well under the definition of queer and we all deal with many of the same issues. At the forefront of the LGBTQ community's fight for equal rights is a deeper fight for acceptance. Society has long been telling us that because we are not heterosexual, we are deviant, and therefore we are less - less deserving of rights, less deserving of recognition, less deserving of protection and less deserving of acceptance. As we are at a crucial point in our community's fight to be accepted, it is important to remember that ALL members of our community deserve acceptance, not just those we understand.
If, as a gay men or lesbians, we look at our transgender brothers and sisters from the perspective of shunning that which we do not understand, we are doing exactly the same to them that members of the straight community have done to us. Gay men and lesbians struggle with gender identity. In the way we dress, in our expression of our personalities, in our social circles, in our labels and stereotypes, in the subcultural norms we create within our own community. It is something we deal with everyday, and it most certainly isn't unique to men and women who identify as transgender.
I cannot imagine what struggle of conscience, what dissonance, what social experiences transgener men and women go through. I haven't experienced it myself. Knowing that, and knowing that many people might say the same thing about me and my experiences, there is no way that I can discount or disregard another person as being a legitimate member of my community. People exist in all shapes, sizes, colors, and genders. One of the greatest things about the LGBTQ community in my mind is the concept that a bunch of people who would, in standard society, be considered misfits can come together to create a beautiful and diverse community that counters the harsh binding structures that put us there in the first place.
By discriminating against transgender men and women within our own community we are demonstrating not only our ignorance in regard to the issues that we ourselves deal with, but also our lack of appreciation and understanding for the gravity of the rights we are fighting for.
Beyond that, at it its core, is the fact that no matter what your gender identity or gender expression or sexual orientation, we are all human beings. No one deserves to be treated so poorly. It is inexcusable.
Showing posts with label DC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DC. Show all posts
Friday, March 6, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
In like a lion, Out like a lamb
"The National Weather Service has issued a Winter Storm Warning(snow)for the District of Columbia which goes into effect from 2pm this afternoon until 2pm Monday. Based on the current storm track 6 to 10 inches of snow can be expected . Gusty winds will also develop overnight Sunday into early Monday."
From my AlertDC this morning. For some reason this made really happy! March and I get along very well - we understand each other - even though March weather is not particularly consistent or delightful, and in spite of March being of average length with some spastic holidays (I'm looking at you, Easter and Daylight Savings!). In fact, March and I have such a longstanding relationship that I painted a piece several years ago called the Lion and the Lamb. It really has nothing to do with the actual month, but the concept/identity of the month was one I carried into the inspiration for the piece. I was going to post it but I haven't had a chance to watermark it yet.
Welcome March! I'm glad to see you :)
From my AlertDC this morning. For some reason this made really happy! March and I get along very well - we understand each other - even though March weather is not particularly consistent or delightful, and in spite of March being of average length with some spastic holidays (I'm looking at you, Easter and Daylight Savings!). In fact, March and I have such a longstanding relationship that I painted a piece several years ago called the Lion and the Lamb. It really has nothing to do with the actual month, but the concept/identity of the month was one I carried into the inspiration for the piece. I was going to post it but I haven't had a chance to watermark it yet.
Welcome March! I'm glad to see you :)
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Home?
I'm in DC.
I'm working, approximately 8:30-6 everyday (not including commute time, which is about 10-15 mins either way)
My kitty is here.
My car is not.
I get up every morning and go to work. I spend all day with my co-workers, set in front of a computer and a phone (eek!) and responding to the every whim and need of the president and exec director of the organization, whom I am increasingly afraid live for their work.
I leave the office at 6, and get home around 6:30. I make and eat dinner, play with my cat, hope for a decent internet connection for a few minutes, and maybe watch tv. then i go to bed.
I knew the real world would be tough. I know the real world will be tough. Is tough.
I can't go about my entire existence only having contact with my coworkers, my cat, and the fellow commuters on the bus.
I miss my friends.
I miss people who appreciate being around me.
I'm really stressed out, because I can't get away from work. It follows me home, on my email and my phone. Is there really something so important that it must be accomplished right NOW, at 10pm? So important it cannot wait until 8:30 the next morning when I arrive at the office?
No one else is in their office or at their email for me to correspond with (save those few people who work from home or have blackberrys).
*pause*
I've had a full week's worth of really rough days. Yesterday though, I was on the bus home (sitting, amazingly) and this really beautiful couple got on the bus. They were just these two girls standing there, holding hands and talking in the midst of the chaos that is the evening commute in DC. I don't know who they were. I wasn't sitting next to them or anything. But seeing them, for some reason, made me feel more at home for that 5 minutes than I have felt since I arrived.
I've since realized, prompted by this internal momentary epiphany, that I don't want my work to be my life.
I'm 22, and for the first time I have the entire world before me. I'm at least moderately talented, I have a college degree, and I have a personality.
I want to have a life - to have time to take yoga classes, or to go to the grocery store. I want to come home and exhale, and be satisfied (even if just for a few hours) with the work that I did during the day.
I want to get to know people. I'd like to have friends to hang out with, and ultimately even someone else to come home to (people who live to work are never home, and therefore never can have someone to come home to).
I want to be passionate about my work, but I want my work to be work rather than my work to be my life. I'm willing to give a lot of my time to the right cause, given the opportunity to really truly use my talent and intellect, to be engaged in my job, and to experience some satisfaction and enjoyment in that work.
I have a lot of thinking to do.
Like I said, I'm really stressed out.
I'm working, approximately 8:30-6 everyday (not including commute time, which is about 10-15 mins either way)
My kitty is here.
My car is not.
I get up every morning and go to work. I spend all day with my co-workers, set in front of a computer and a phone (eek!) and responding to the every whim and need of the president and exec director of the organization, whom I am increasingly afraid live for their work.
I leave the office at 6, and get home around 6:30. I make and eat dinner, play with my cat, hope for a decent internet connection for a few minutes, and maybe watch tv. then i go to bed.
I knew the real world would be tough. I know the real world will be tough. Is tough.
I can't go about my entire existence only having contact with my coworkers, my cat, and the fellow commuters on the bus.
I miss my friends.
I miss people who appreciate being around me.
I'm really stressed out, because I can't get away from work. It follows me home, on my email and my phone. Is there really something so important that it must be accomplished right NOW, at 10pm? So important it cannot wait until 8:30 the next morning when I arrive at the office?
No one else is in their office or at their email for me to correspond with (save those few people who work from home or have blackberrys).
*pause*
I've had a full week's worth of really rough days. Yesterday though, I was on the bus home (sitting, amazingly) and this really beautiful couple got on the bus. They were just these two girls standing there, holding hands and talking in the midst of the chaos that is the evening commute in DC. I don't know who they were. I wasn't sitting next to them or anything. But seeing them, for some reason, made me feel more at home for that 5 minutes than I have felt since I arrived.
I've since realized, prompted by this internal momentary epiphany, that I don't want my work to be my life.
I'm 22, and for the first time I have the entire world before me. I'm at least moderately talented, I have a college degree, and I have a personality.
I want to have a life - to have time to take yoga classes, or to go to the grocery store. I want to come home and exhale, and be satisfied (even if just for a few hours) with the work that I did during the day.
I want to get to know people. I'd like to have friends to hang out with, and ultimately even someone else to come home to (people who live to work are never home, and therefore never can have someone to come home to).
I want to be passionate about my work, but I want my work to be work rather than my work to be my life. I'm willing to give a lot of my time to the right cause, given the opportunity to really truly use my talent and intellect, to be engaged in my job, and to experience some satisfaction and enjoyment in that work.
I have a lot of thinking to do.
Like I said, I'm really stressed out.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Hi-ho, Cherry-Oh!
...both literary and political. :)
I have a job. I start October 1st.
Now, I just have to find a place to live.
if anyone has info about affordable apartments for rent in the district, let me know.
(and please, don't ask me if I know about Craigslist. or the Post, the Times, or the City Paper.)
I can't believe I have 3 weeks to find an apartment and get moved, and I'm leaving town for the entire weekend.
Friday, June 8, 2007
Sugar spell it out...
Okay, first and foremost, if you don't already have and use Mozilla Firefox you need to get it. And use it. The number of customizations for it are endless. Imagine having a web browser that is tailored to exactly the type of things you use the internet for on a daily basis: spend a good 45 minutes downloading firefox and picking out your add-ons and themes, and that is what you'll have.
Second of all (this is going to be a bit of a technology oriented post), did you know that google has a new feature called igoogle, which allows you to customize a sort of internet portal where you can receive weather, news, emails, blog/rss updates, and pretty much anything else your heart desires on one page? yeah... go to the google main page ( Here for anyone who happens not to know). You'll need to set up a google account, if you don't already have one. Knowing the lot of my friends (and others whom I humbly imagine to read this) you all are already on the google train for gmail, so you won't need to do the extra work. If you set this google page as your homepage, you'll have all this great stuff first thing when you pull up the internet (your brand spanking new firefox browser, I presume).
I, for example, have my igoogle page set up with the latest blog entries from all over the web related to two or three of my greatest interests (for example, Tegan and Sara). I also have the cnn.com feed, a weather feed, my gmail, and a few other nifty things.
You could learn a lot by just putzing around on Google for awhile. Google has established a plethora of helpful and non-invasive features to make it easier to use the internet (unlike the ridiculous but ever popular..even i use it... Google Toolbar which invades your entire system.)
If you want to search for something you are interested in buying, you can use Froogle. Or you can use google's blog search to find the latest blog entries related to your favorite topics from all over the interweb (and subsequently you can set up these blog searches to deliver summaries of the latest entries to your igoogle page, and lots of other places.)
If you have ever wished there was a hub for all the latest and most interesting news stories, podcasts and videos... there is. of course. Use Digg.com, where you yourself can also submit stories you "digg" up from the surly depths of the interweb and share them with your friends and every other dazed and confused webber.
Also a set for those of you who are DCers:
Metroblogging DC
DC Daily Photo
Finally, a special Tegan and Sara update because it's just that important...
In lieu of the recent 2-month early leaking of their new album, the wonder twins have announced that they will be releasing the new album early on itunes - june 19th hopefully, but june 26th at the latest. They have also added two songs from The Con onto the player on their myspace page, which means you can add the songs to your profile too if you want, as well they have added a preview of the dvd that they will be releasing with the new album (can be found on their myspace page, on my myspace page, and Here)
Now I'm off to pick out a notes feature that lets me take notes of things I want to say as I'm surfing the web so that next time I post a blog, I write about all the important things I had to say, instead of just telling you random shit like this :)
PS, I'm on the hunt for the seller of those "What Would Natalie Maines Do?" (or W.W.N.M.D.?) t-shirts. I want one. The entirety of the interweb has failed me in my search, save a few photos of other people wearing them. Where can I get one?
Second of all (this is going to be a bit of a technology oriented post), did you know that google has a new feature called igoogle, which allows you to customize a sort of internet portal where you can receive weather, news, emails, blog/rss updates, and pretty much anything else your heart desires on one page? yeah... go to the google main page ( Here for anyone who happens not to know). You'll need to set up a google account, if you don't already have one. Knowing the lot of my friends (and others whom I humbly imagine to read this) you all are already on the google train for gmail, so you won't need to do the extra work. If you set this google page as your homepage, you'll have all this great stuff first thing when you pull up the internet (your brand spanking new firefox browser, I presume).
I, for example, have my igoogle page set up with the latest blog entries from all over the web related to two or three of my greatest interests (for example, Tegan and Sara). I also have the cnn.com feed, a weather feed, my gmail, and a few other nifty things.
You could learn a lot by just putzing around on Google for awhile. Google has established a plethora of helpful and non-invasive features to make it easier to use the internet (unlike the ridiculous but ever popular..even i use it... Google Toolbar which invades your entire system.)
If you want to search for something you are interested in buying, you can use Froogle. Or you can use google's blog search to find the latest blog entries related to your favorite topics from all over the interweb (and subsequently you can set up these blog searches to deliver summaries of the latest entries to your igoogle page, and lots of other places.)
If you have ever wished there was a hub for all the latest and most interesting news stories, podcasts and videos... there is. of course. Use Digg.com, where you yourself can also submit stories you "digg" up from the surly depths of the interweb and share them with your friends and every other dazed and confused webber.
Also a set for those of you who are DCers:
Metroblogging DC
DC Daily Photo
Finally, a special Tegan and Sara update because it's just that important...
In lieu of the recent 2-month early leaking of their new album, the wonder twins have announced that they will be releasing the new album early on itunes - june 19th hopefully, but june 26th at the latest. They have also added two songs from The Con onto the player on their myspace page, which means you can add the songs to your profile too if you want, as well they have added a preview of the dvd that they will be releasing with the new album (can be found on their myspace page, on my myspace page, and Here)
Now I'm off to pick out a notes feature that lets me take notes of things I want to say as I'm surfing the web so that next time I post a blog, I write about all the important things I had to say, instead of just telling you random shit like this :)
PS, I'm on the hunt for the seller of those "What Would Natalie Maines Do?" (or W.W.N.M.D.?) t-shirts. I want one. The entirety of the interweb has failed me in my search, save a few photos of other people wearing them. Where can I get one?
Monday, May 14, 2007
i'm talking bollocks to amuse you, i hope
i might just be falling in love.
no, not like that; with this woman
for the myspacers..this woman
for the youtubers, well, hahaha you'll just have to scroll a little won't you! because like clockwork, when i find a new musical love i undoubtably include a video for you. at this point i haven't chosen one, but by the time i publish this entry i will have :)
So, I graduated. What's with that? now i have to find a job so i can get the hell out of this awful place. I mean yeah, it's nice to not really do anything for awhile, but it's the part where everyone comes home and the dynamic is stressful that makes me want to leave.
I have however been looking for a new kitten, and will be getting one in the next few days assuming i can find one that i want. pics, of course, will come.
the only thing i can think of, beyond said entry into the real world, that is bad about graduation is that part about knowing that you won't be moving back into the room across the hall from all your other friends again in the fall. i'm sure i'll be seeing some of mine again in DC soon, but it won't be quite the same.
okay. video timeeeeeee! this is not the *best* video ever, but it is funny (and new friend, you might recognize it, because it was taken at the concert YOU were at!!!)
and yes, that is melissa ferrick on the trumpet ;)
no, not like that; with this woman
for the myspacers..this woman
for the youtubers, well, hahaha you'll just have to scroll a little won't you! because like clockwork, when i find a new musical love i undoubtably include a video for you. at this point i haven't chosen one, but by the time i publish this entry i will have :)
So, I graduated. What's with that? now i have to find a job so i can get the hell out of this awful place. I mean yeah, it's nice to not really do anything for awhile, but it's the part where everyone comes home and the dynamic is stressful that makes me want to leave.
I have however been looking for a new kitten, and will be getting one in the next few days assuming i can find one that i want. pics, of course, will come.
the only thing i can think of, beyond said entry into the real world, that is bad about graduation is that part about knowing that you won't be moving back into the room across the hall from all your other friends again in the fall. i'm sure i'll be seeing some of mine again in DC soon, but it won't be quite the same.
okay. video timeeeeeee! this is not the *best* video ever, but it is funny (and new friend, you might recognize it, because it was taken at the concert YOU were at!!!)
and yes, that is melissa ferrick on the trumpet ;)
Thursday, May 10, 2007
behavior i just can't grow into
I'm going to try to blog. I've been feeling quite reticent lately.
1) I am now officially only short 1 t/s cd. Acquired This Business of Art while I was in DC earlier this week. In love with it, not that that would be news to you. ;)
2) had lunch with my old (boss?) coworkers on tuesday, and got a push for some other jobs. the interview was okay, but the office environment wasn't as enthusiastic or as progressive as PM. Maybe my standards are too high, but I like to think that it isn't unreasonable to appreciate a lively work environment, or coworkers who seem really into what they are doing (not just as a job).
4) i couldn't think of a number three.
5) I'm halfway packed. I think this is progress, seeing as my family comes in two days, and I still need to be able to live here until graduation.
6) I'd also like to commend myself on progressing from "every article of clothing I own is dirty" to "every article of clothing I own is clean" in a spry 3 hours. w00t.
--->you may not think this is significant, but it is. Why? because i didn't get to take a shower this morning because i didn't have clean underwear to put on afterwards. read: significant accomplishment. means i can shower soon.
7) loved Dc while i was there. LOVED. LOVED. in all honesty i might have loved it more because of the company i kept than anything else, but the smells and sounds and foods i have missed so much.
8) I drove in downtown dc all by myself. and i didn't wreck, or get lost. woohoo!!!! am initiated into the not-a-DC-reject club.
9) thanks to hayjay, i got nerdy this afternoon and dug deeper into the features of my gmail account (and subsequently, the rest of google). Labels and filters are awesome. Also, Google Calendar? Amazing. I organized my inbox. Tagged all my emails, and set up filters so now they tage themselves....muahahahaha! Also read up on Gmail's chat feature, which is like sending quick messages through gmail to your contacts.. like IM through email or something. I saw a coworker use it at work last summer and it was superconvenient.
Anyway, moral of the story.... if you're not on gmail, you should be. If you need an Invite, I have 99 left. :)
10) time only moves in one direction. it never gets earlier.. always getting later, moving forward. It's not like I haven't always known this, I just never thought about it this way before.
"keeps me on my toes
where did the time go?"
1) I am now officially only short 1 t/s cd. Acquired This Business of Art while I was in DC earlier this week. In love with it, not that that would be news to you. ;)
2) had lunch with my old (boss?) coworkers on tuesday, and got a push for some other jobs. the interview was okay, but the office environment wasn't as enthusiastic or as progressive as PM. Maybe my standards are too high, but I like to think that it isn't unreasonable to appreciate a lively work environment, or coworkers who seem really into what they are doing (not just as a job).
4) i couldn't think of a number three.
5) I'm halfway packed. I think this is progress, seeing as my family comes in two days, and I still need to be able to live here until graduation.
6) I'd also like to commend myself on progressing from "every article of clothing I own is dirty" to "every article of clothing I own is clean" in a spry 3 hours. w00t.
--->you may not think this is significant, but it is. Why? because i didn't get to take a shower this morning because i didn't have clean underwear to put on afterwards. read: significant accomplishment. means i can shower soon.
7) loved Dc while i was there. LOVED. LOVED. in all honesty i might have loved it more because of the company i kept than anything else, but the smells and sounds and foods i have missed so much.
8) I drove in downtown dc all by myself. and i didn't wreck, or get lost. woohoo!!!! am initiated into the not-a-DC-reject club.
9) thanks to hayjay, i got nerdy this afternoon and dug deeper into the features of my gmail account (and subsequently, the rest of google). Labels and filters are awesome. Also, Google Calendar? Amazing. I organized my inbox. Tagged all my emails, and set up filters so now they tage themselves....muahahahaha! Also read up on Gmail's chat feature, which is like sending quick messages through gmail to your contacts.. like IM through email or something. I saw a coworker use it at work last summer and it was superconvenient.
Anyway, moral of the story.... if you're not on gmail, you should be. If you need an Invite, I have 99 left. :)
10) time only moves in one direction. it never gets earlier.. always getting later, moving forward. It's not like I haven't always known this, I just never thought about it this way before.
"keeps me on my toes
where did the time go?"
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
i was walking with a ghost
I still need a date for SDD.
someone 21. someone fun.
not a whole lot else to say today, except...
Tegan and Sara, 1980 - the con
July 24, 2007
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
screw harry potter. i've got better things to look forward to.
like in-store promo tour, and big time US/Canada tour!
and holy cow new songs and new merch and more tegan and sara.
right. check out the details at the t/s myspace or website.
I'll be sending off several more job apps tomorrow. it would be more exciting if i could be apartment hunting too, but i probably won't be able to afford an apt all my own, so i won't hunt till i have a roomie. I already have a pretty good idea of pricing and such as well.
Anyone wanna be roomies in DC?
"i would like to extend a hand of friendship to the president, just to say calm down with the threats; there's a new congress in town" --- pelosi
we had a thunderstorm today. like a little half-hour of heaven. it was nice.
the john edwards campaign keeps calling me. they want to give me jobs in iowa. As excited as i used to be about that, i'm just not anymore. plus, after talking to that jackass fratboy from their campaign who called me, is it really wrong to be ignoring them?
i guess it is. hmm.
someone 21. someone fun.
not a whole lot else to say today, except...
Tegan and Sara, 1980 - the con
July 24, 2007
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
screw harry potter. i've got better things to look forward to.
like in-store promo tour, and big time US/Canada tour!
and holy cow new songs and new merch and more tegan and sara.
right. check out the details at the t/s myspace or website.
I'll be sending off several more job apps tomorrow. it would be more exciting if i could be apartment hunting too, but i probably won't be able to afford an apt all my own, so i won't hunt till i have a roomie. I already have a pretty good idea of pricing and such as well.
Anyone wanna be roomies in DC?
"i would like to extend a hand of friendship to the president, just to say calm down with the threats; there's a new congress in town" --- pelosi
we had a thunderstorm today. like a little half-hour of heaven. it was nice.
the john edwards campaign keeps calling me. they want to give me jobs in iowa. As excited as i used to be about that, i'm just not anymore. plus, after talking to that jackass fratboy from their campaign who called me, is it really wrong to be ignoring them?
i guess it is. hmm.
Monday, March 26, 2007
a little short on sorrow
Ever have one of those days, weeks, months when your life (and sometimes yourself) is changing so fast you can almost see it and feel it?
I don't have a date for sdd anymore; maybe it was the gay thing, but i sort of expected more out of my best friend. just won't call me back, or anything.
Definitely glad I haven't bought tickets yet.
This also means I don't have anyone to live with after graduation (the plans were for DC, but in reality I guess this applies anywhere I go).
Also discovered Saturday morning that someone stole the air deflector off the back of my truck. Right in the parking lot behind Webb, just ripped it right off. The fact that it had been on there for 11 years notwithstanding, now my car looks ugly because the adhesive strip is still on there and there's a lot of dirt and markings from where the thing used to be.
My car is my pride and joy. It has no dents, dings, or scratches from anything other than highway debris (which i have no control over.) I take good care of her because I love her, perhaps more than anything else I possess. Plus, she was expensive and is still my dream car (I even forgive the fact that i can't plug in my ipod.)
Where is that petition for security cameras in our parking lots? I'm adding my john hancock.
Just pissed about that. It is indeed, just a piece of plastic, and when it comes down to it I'm grateful that nothing else was taken (like my t/s cds... hello - those are like gold.)
Beyond petty ramblings, I'm feeling almost uncomfortably unattached. Beyond the obvious no spouse and children, I am now petless :o( and I really have no strings to anything. I don't have a specific circle of friends that I really belong to; apparently don't have a best friend now either.
I feel like using life like a slingshot, and sort of propelling myself in the direction of something interesting. Like canada.
I do want to be sure that I'm not running from something (like my parents..) and that whatever I do, I am moving forward instead of trying to hide. And there's a small part of me that just screams for a reason not to do something crazy and spontaneous and far away; A reason to do what is logical. And I just don't have one.
I'm sick of being around people who are connected. Not to imply that I don't love the people I know, or that they aren't amazing (they are). It's difficult being the one individual who doesn't have someone to pal around with, or anyone to hang out with consistently, or even one other being who concerns themselves with my existence, reliably. I don't like spending entire weekends alone, and I don't going days without having real conversations with people I care about. And the issue is that everybody has someone else. I must've just missed that train somewhere. I tend to think that if I uproot myself and move to some place different, I'm more likely to meet people who aren't connected. People who are looking for that someone else.
don't get me wrong. i'm not even talking about dating relationships here. that's a boiling kettle i don't care to deal with.
It has occured to me that at times my life at macon feels like I am an observer in some sociological experiment. Everyone knows me, and some people remember I'm there and like me, but mostly I'm sitting back, watching everyone go about their lives. I don't feel included, or involved at all.
In addition, I only overthink things on days that end in Y, so when i babble out things like above it can certainly be disregarded.
For every down there is an up; meaning, keep reading. things will have to start looking up sooner or later :o)
My friend Lianna is going to be famous. Because she is talented in too many ways to describe. Or by process of elimination (someone in our group has to end up famous, and it isn't going to be...)
And finally out of respect to Collier, Telluride (the city) is indeed in Colorado. And also in Idaho. But not in Montana.
you learn something new everyday.
I don't have a date for sdd anymore; maybe it was the gay thing, but i sort of expected more out of my best friend. just won't call me back, or anything.
Definitely glad I haven't bought tickets yet.
This also means I don't have anyone to live with after graduation (the plans were for DC, but in reality I guess this applies anywhere I go).
Also discovered Saturday morning that someone stole the air deflector off the back of my truck. Right in the parking lot behind Webb, just ripped it right off. The fact that it had been on there for 11 years notwithstanding, now my car looks ugly because the adhesive strip is still on there and there's a lot of dirt and markings from where the thing used to be.
My car is my pride and joy. It has no dents, dings, or scratches from anything other than highway debris (which i have no control over.) I take good care of her because I love her, perhaps more than anything else I possess. Plus, she was expensive and is still my dream car (I even forgive the fact that i can't plug in my ipod.)
Where is that petition for security cameras in our parking lots? I'm adding my john hancock.
Just pissed about that. It is indeed, just a piece of plastic, and when it comes down to it I'm grateful that nothing else was taken (like my t/s cds... hello - those are like gold.)
Beyond petty ramblings, I'm feeling almost uncomfortably unattached. Beyond the obvious no spouse and children, I am now petless :o( and I really have no strings to anything. I don't have a specific circle of friends that I really belong to; apparently don't have a best friend now either.
I feel like using life like a slingshot, and sort of propelling myself in the direction of something interesting. Like canada.
I do want to be sure that I'm not running from something (like my parents..) and that whatever I do, I am moving forward instead of trying to hide. And there's a small part of me that just screams for a reason not to do something crazy and spontaneous and far away; A reason to do what is logical. And I just don't have one.
I'm sick of being around people who are connected. Not to imply that I don't love the people I know, or that they aren't amazing (they are). It's difficult being the one individual who doesn't have someone to pal around with, or anyone to hang out with consistently, or even one other being who concerns themselves with my existence, reliably. I don't like spending entire weekends alone, and I don't going days without having real conversations with people I care about. And the issue is that everybody has someone else. I must've just missed that train somewhere. I tend to think that if I uproot myself and move to some place different, I'm more likely to meet people who aren't connected. People who are looking for that someone else.
don't get me wrong. i'm not even talking about dating relationships here. that's a boiling kettle i don't care to deal with.
It has occured to me that at times my life at macon feels like I am an observer in some sociological experiment. Everyone knows me, and some people remember I'm there and like me, but mostly I'm sitting back, watching everyone go about their lives. I don't feel included, or involved at all.
In addition, I only overthink things on days that end in Y, so when i babble out things like above it can certainly be disregarded.
For every down there is an up; meaning, keep reading. things will have to start looking up sooner or later :o)
My friend Lianna is going to be famous. Because she is talented in too many ways to describe. Or by process of elimination (someone in our group has to end up famous, and it isn't going to be...)
And finally out of respect to Collier, Telluride (the city) is indeed in Colorado. And also in Idaho. But not in Montana.
you learn something new everyday.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
i think it's best we do a little bit of stopping
I've found several new jobs to apply for today.
Problem= they're not in DC. As a matter of fact, they're in New York for the most part. One in Arkansas. One in Boston.
I'm not sure I like the idea of New York. I love the city -to visit- but the cost of living is so high, and I'll be making so little money that I'm not convinced I would enjoy my life enough to make it worth it. And Boston isn't bad, but it is cold. The idea of learning a new city the size of Boston isn't all that appealing either, especially since I don't have any friends living or moving there.
I do, however, like the idea of Seattle (forgiving the fact that it is on the west coast.) Lots of culture, close to cool canadians, plenty of coffee, young crowd, and cheeeeaaaaap in comparison to east coast cities. And liberal. Honestly, most of the jobs in NY that I am going to apply for ask for salary requirements. What do I say to that?
"Hi, could you pay me enough to live in an apartment in a not-sketchy area, close to a subway stop and a park, so that I'll have enough money to take yoga classes and guitar lessons and buy organic food? Thanks!"
yeah right. they would laugh and toss my otherwise extraordinarily qualified application right out their 36th story high-rise window (metaphorically speaking. i'm not an idiot. i know those windows don't actually open, and are several inches thick made to withstand heavy wind forces and all types of weather.)
DC is green. open. shorter buildings. not as far from open spaces, and by open spaces i'm not talking about ritzy fairfax. a short drive to rural MD, VA, or WV. Far, but not too far from home. and my friends!
face it. i'm a tree-hugging animal loving punky liberal intellectual looking to schmooze with members of the same. and i'm facing a conflict, because the jobs i'm qualified for/want are not in the city i want to live in. boo.
I'm still working on the tattoo design. I might end up employing the known talents of one of my friends to help me out with it, because my sketches really aren't doing my vision justice. And goodness knows I'm not going to get it permanently attached to my body if it isn't perfect.
i'm off to buy my black hockey hoodie, read the last 20 pages of my book and sleep. I have to churn out a thesis by 9:30 tomorrow, lest I miss the deadline and get into shit with my professor.
i ask myself, why did i want to venture into uncharted academic waters for my final semester? why?!
look out for artwork pictures soon.
peace out.
Problem= they're not in DC. As a matter of fact, they're in New York for the most part. One in Arkansas. One in Boston.
I'm not sure I like the idea of New York. I love the city -to visit- but the cost of living is so high, and I'll be making so little money that I'm not convinced I would enjoy my life enough to make it worth it. And Boston isn't bad, but it is cold. The idea of learning a new city the size of Boston isn't all that appealing either, especially since I don't have any friends living or moving there.
I do, however, like the idea of Seattle (forgiving the fact that it is on the west coast.) Lots of culture, close to cool canadians, plenty of coffee, young crowd, and cheeeeaaaaap in comparison to east coast cities. And liberal. Honestly, most of the jobs in NY that I am going to apply for ask for salary requirements. What do I say to that?
"Hi, could you pay me enough to live in an apartment in a not-sketchy area, close to a subway stop and a park, so that I'll have enough money to take yoga classes and guitar lessons and buy organic food? Thanks!"
yeah right. they would laugh and toss my otherwise extraordinarily qualified application right out their 36th story high-rise window (metaphorically speaking. i'm not an idiot. i know those windows don't actually open, and are several inches thick made to withstand heavy wind forces and all types of weather.)
DC is green. open. shorter buildings. not as far from open spaces, and by open spaces i'm not talking about ritzy fairfax. a short drive to rural MD, VA, or WV. Far, but not too far from home. and my friends!
face it. i'm a tree-hugging animal loving punky liberal intellectual looking to schmooze with members of the same. and i'm facing a conflict, because the jobs i'm qualified for/want are not in the city i want to live in. boo.
I'm still working on the tattoo design. I might end up employing the known talents of one of my friends to help me out with it, because my sketches really aren't doing my vision justice. And goodness knows I'm not going to get it permanently attached to my body if it isn't perfect.
i'm off to buy my black hockey hoodie, read the last 20 pages of my book and sleep. I have to churn out a thesis by 9:30 tomorrow, lest I miss the deadline and get into shit with my professor.
i ask myself, why did i want to venture into uncharted academic waters for my final semester? why?!
look out for artwork pictures soon.
peace out.
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