Astanga, Day 1

My first day of the Primary Series wasn't brutal. But I think the fact that I let it hang over me all day long really affected my enthusiasm. As did the fact that I was exhausted when I started, nevermind when I stopped.

My shoulder was cranky and stiff today, so I alternated between knees-chest-chin and chaturanga, though as I got toward the end the chaturanga to up-dog part of each vinyasa was the moment of relief. My padottanasana variations as well as my janu sirsasanas were really great. In fact, by the time I got to all the seated poses, though exhausted, my body was lovely and supple. Hopefully on Wednesday I will have the energy to continue beyond and enjoy it.

I need to get more sleep, and I need to adjust my meal schedule to include a larger snack around 4:45. I probably could have pushed through to the end today, but I stopped because my blood sugar plummeted after Paschimottanasana, and every vinyasa was more and more shaky after that.

This endeavor is definitely a form of Tapas for me, purification through pain or discomfort. Austerity. Tapas in this case is intentional, placing yourself in front of known obstacles with the intention of running their course and overcoming the discomfort or pain they cause you so that you can rise above and move forward. The Primary Series has many qualities that stand in opposition to me, the least of which is the routine aspect. I'm all for a set sequence of poses, but I generally reserve the right to do what I want if I feel like it. And doing the same thing at the same time every day, a vigorous and intense practice, 90 minutes long, breath by breath... it's like taking down a house one nail at a time with only a hammer and your two hands. And then you get to do it again the next day, and the next day, and the next day.

It's an exercise in self-discipline, which I don't really concede to be running short on, but doing this is a way of demonstrating that I can commit, push myself, stay the course, and follow through. In the path of yoga, there are many obstacles and many distractions. Learning about your tendencies toward these early on can be a key tool when the lure becomes much greater as your practice progresses. Getting sidetracked is just another way the fluctuations of consciousness manifest themselves, and ultimately, it is all about ceasing the fluctations of the mind.

Yoga citta vrtti nirodha. (Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, 1.2)