Astanga, Day 5

My practice today reminded me why this is an endeavor of Tapas.
Tapas, tapas, tapas. Distractions - the cat is getting into something, I don't really like this song that's playing, this pose feels really good, I wonder how hard it is snowing outside, I'm tired, I'm hungry, is it getting too hot in here? too cold?, what time is it?, crap what inhale am I on?

My head was swimmy after all the forward bends, but I finally started to get a little second wind during forward folds...Paschimottanasana is my friend, seriously. It's like someone plugs an IV into me and fills me with energy. Sadly it does not last long (yet).

I practiced for a full 90 minutes (with one break..stopped because I was hungry but ultimately hit the mat again!) I made it to Setu Bandhasana, but I'm not quite comfortable with the Astanga expression of that pose, and my second attempt at Chakrasana did not agree with my back - I take my back very seriously, so for me that was my body's hint that it had had enough for the day :)

Throughout the practice I kept trying to remind myself of two things: 1) that my teacher told me to be kind to myself. It's something that I know to do, but the fact that she chose that as her advice made it stick; 2) that this was only my third practice, and I will get farther and better. I'm a very patient person with everyone except myself, and my own high standards for myself often predispose me to fail at things I am actually good at. And ultimately this practice isn't about failure or success, it is about facing obstacles that stand in my way in all aspects of my life, and appreciating why they are there and the process of overcoming them.

A yoga teacher gave some somewhat off-handed advice to our teacher training group a few months ago that is very relevant to this endeavor:
"Yoga isn't about perfection, it is about the inquiry."