Jeanette Winterson is causing my brain to shrivel up like dead plant.
So I'm taking a break to blog :)
It's funny how life is, deciding to throw the most random stuff at you, just as you're getting to the point of having things worked out. It constantly proves to me that I am both smarter than I get credit for, and at the same time woefully insignificant in the grander scheme of the universe. I'm okay with that.
I've been working on a new painting lately, and doing a sort of photo documentation of it's progress. I want to be able to go back and point at the moments in my process that I totally destroy the preconception and let the painting itself start making the decisions about its fate. While I'm doing this, life brings up my one greatest vice (which, inevitably, is my greatest challenge in the same). This happens to be other people. In general and in specifics. In general, other people are what i understand most and least, relate to most and least, and appreciate most and least. They cause me the greatest pain and greatest joy in my life. And for me they are the great puzzle.
I've never been perplexed by questions about the mysteries, secrets, or the point of life. I've never concerned myself with the idiosyncrasies of nature, because those seem to be very logical. People, however, are the pinnacle of my wonderings.
It is, additionally, a well known fact that in specifics I will carry flames for other people with whom I have been able to connect for eternity. For as long as my spirit exists, those flames will burn. I don't trust people easily, nor do many people understand or really know me. When I find a person who touches my mind, and on rarer occasions my heart, I hold on tight.
The magic of this is that my paintings seem to reflect the periods of my life clearly, and at the same time they hold their own separate identity.
The painting that I am growing right now is doing that very thing. It is also becoming obvious to me that some of my work is clearly reflective of my heart, while other pieces are clearly reflective of my mind. The two are very different creatures.
The painting will be done in its own time, and then you will be able to see the whole project. Until then, I'll leave you with this, because I was never as much a master of words as I have been with a paintbrush...
Lines of my forehead,
from trying to thread the needle of this idea,
without letting you know it.
If you said I could
I'd throw the maps right out the window,
take the longest way home.
Chris Pureka
2 comments:
"It is, additionally, a well known fact that in specifics I will carry flames for other people with whom I have been able to connect for eternity. For as long as my spirit exists, those flames will burn. I don't trust people easily, nor do many people understand or really know me. When I find a person who touches my mind, and on rarer occasions my heart, I hold on tight." This captures my recent past so clearly. Thanks for writing it... I am just like you, and have always felt that the mysteries of people were far more interesting than galaxies and nanotechnology.
You are very welcome.
It is humbling that we can discover so much about all the things that surround us, on earth and out in space; yet after so many years of existence we still know so little about the human mind, and one person's individual experiences are relevant to another's. Those experiences are the things that matter.
I'm glad to know that you sometimes read my blog. I read yours often and you always have interesting things to say.
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